What should you do if you see your TV floating?

Turn on the lights and shoot the black guy.

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Float Jokes More Float Jokes

What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float ?

That's my buoy !

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating?

Man, wall mounts are awesome."

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

Why is it fun to play with matches ?

They're lit.

Who sang the song "my own worst enemy"?

Them: I think it's Lit Me: I mean I like the song but I wouldn't call it lit...

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why are crime rates down in the US?

Because criminals keep turning themselves into police.

What's the difference between my shower and everyone?

My shower gets turned on by me.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What goes clop clop clop - BANG! BANG! BANG! - clop clop clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting

What kind of tree would Hanna Montana be?

A 'Miley Cyprus'. Dear god, shoot me.

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

Why does a rooster watch TV ?

For hentertainment !

Why are DJ's called 'radio personalities' ?

Because if they had the looks they'd be on TV.

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane?

A pilot, you f'n racist!!

Why did the black guy cross the road?

He heard there was chicken on the other side!