What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How do you build a flea circus?

You have to start from scratch.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What is easier to load your van with bowling balls or screaming baby's?

Baby's because you can use a pitchfork

What do these 2 have in common What does your mum and a politician have in common?

When they scream they make no sense

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What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What do you call an old person trying to fit in with today's kids?

A dislocated hipster.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

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What's George Washington's least favorite flower?

Lie-lacs!

What's George Washington's favorite element?

Americium-1776