What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What rings twice and screams once?

Ray Charles answering the iron

What's cold and scary?

I-scream!

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know? .... saw this joke in today's

Whats the V in DVD stand for?

Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today .. be kind)

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..?

he was tired of coffin.

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What color was George Washington's white horse?

Haha morons

When George Washington was a general why did he like to have dogs around?

They were very helpful during the "Roverlutionary War!"