What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?

A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.

What's the most useful material?

Scratch. You can make anything from scratch.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

What is the date in Germany/Brasil today?

7-1. (world cup)

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

Kim Jong Il Jokes More Kim Jong Il Jokes

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.