What would u do if u won the lotto?

10yo: Buy legos & a bigger house for u. 11yo: I'd buy a monkey. Going to be extra nice to my 10yo.

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

What do you get when you cross dessert with a monkey?

A Meringueutan

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Shows you it works then. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys picking cherries.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What would u do if u won the lotto?

10yo: Buy legos & a bigger house for u. 11yo: I'd buy a monkey. Going to be extra nice to my 10yo.

How can U make a difference?

Good Mourning! *(this pun is baaad and I feel terrible about it)*

10yo Jokes More 10yo Jokes

What the hell is albatrout?

That's not real. 10yo: Now you're in doubt! Me: But... 10yo: ALBATROUT

What's a VCR?

My 10yo instantly making me feel like the oldest person who has ever lived. I need calcium chews for my brittle bones.