When is it okay to punch a midget?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why are double amputees always wrong?

Because they don't have a leg to stand on. Note: I'm a right leg amputee and I made this up myself.

Why are you standing in front of the Gentlement Restroom?

Sarah kept silent.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

What happens when Peter Pan tries to throws punches?

They Neverland.

What does a feminist get when she can't afford a punching bag?

A boyfriend.

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear?

Answer: You Blink Your Eyes.

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

Why a conch shell, and why there of all places?

So that when you put your ear against it, you can smell the ocean."

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frog's finger...

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

Why did the midget go swimming in the kitchen?

There were microwaves. Sorry I was drunk making popcorn.

When Do You Hurt a Midget?

When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!