When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone?

Two days seems like a long time.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why Isn't The Media Covering This?

the media asks other media, peering into its media mirror, media-ing before a day of media in media.

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What excuse did the unemployed cellist give for going dutch with his date?

He's flat Baroque...

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What do you tell a metal head who's walking on an icy street?

Slip not.

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

Why did Woodrow Wilson take a long time to turn around?

Because he could only make 14 point turns.

What do you call gonorrhea that takes a long time to show up?

Slow clap.