Who's been screwing my wife?

A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, "You don't have enough ammo, mate!"

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness?

Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell.

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many refs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They only screw playoff games

How many musos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's a pretty obscure number. You probably haven't heard of it.

Voice Jokes More Voice Jokes

Why is your voice gone?

Are you ok Me:*thinks back to me belting out Ariana Grande's "Dangerous Woman"* I'm ok...allergies are bad.

What do you call your GPS if it has the voice of Terry Crews?

Crews Control.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

How is a woman like a bar?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back ( )

What is the most offensive joke you know?

I'm bored tonight and I have a no holds barred sense of humour. What are some of your worst

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What does a Japanese chef shout in bed?

Ooo mami! (Umami)

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones sing "Hey You! Get off of my cloud!" A Scotsman shouts "Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"