Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory?

He didn't like being spoken to in that voice

A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"

How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people. I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.

What do you call making your booty clap for likes and upvotes?

Social netwerking

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What is the motto of the French navy?

To the water, it is time! Or in french... ... BWA HA HA HA. OK... I know this is kind a dad joke but.... yeah (for those don't speak French and thus don't get this, click the link and click the speaker to have it read to you ;) )