Who would win in a fight...your mom or your dad?

From the looks of it, your dad won

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do you know you are at r/jokes?

The guys all look like they played football for Bronx HighSchool of Science

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

How to scare parents?

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

What happened to your car?

SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What about your mom?

No, no. Dad wouldn't allow that."

What do you call a cow... With three legs?

Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs That's right! Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs .... YOUR MOM.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do Americans do immediately after winning the World Cup (Soccer)?

Turn off the Playstation.

What is better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics?

Having two legs

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.