Why can't priests have children?

Because choir boys can't get pregnant, thank God.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

What do cannibal say when they say grace?

We thank you Lord for our daily dead!

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

Why did the boy stand behind the horse?

He thought he might get a kick out of it!

How do you call it when a girl kicks a boy in the groin during the first date?

Premature emasculation.

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

What did the nun say to the priest?

Shut up

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What is the difference between God and my love life?

Some people think God is real.

Why don't we say Grace?

Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry

Choir Jokes More Choir Jokes

Why should we hire the chickpeas to be part of our choir?

They could hummus a song! (I was really proud of this one.)

Why do choirs keep buckets handy?

So they can carry their tune