Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are these?

Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON.

What did the Challenger Austronaut day to his wife before he left?

You feed the kids, I'll feed the fishes."

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did the kid ask the Pirate?

Kid asks, "Where are your buccaneers?" Pirate replies, "They're under my Buccan Hat!"

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

What are you looking for buddy?

Normal day at the office, when one guy notices his coworker distraught. He goes over to his cubicle and sees him looking for something on the floor. They spend half an hour looking for it, when the guy starts picking his nose:

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What did the farmer say after he fed his cows pot?

the Steaks are high."

Why did the rancher get out of the hemp-fed beef market?

The steaks were too high.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What animal has bad memory and climbs mountains?

A Forgoat.

Why Latvian man did cross road?

Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato.