Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital?

Oy vey!"

What belongs to me but is used the most by others?

My ex-wife

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Where did you buy all that junk?

Kid: At the Joke shop.

Why did Jared go to a Goat farm?

Why did Jared go to a Goat farm? He heard there was lots of Kids there.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why does the Pope keep his underwear on while bathing?

Because he doesn't like looking down on the unemployed. First to ever post this joke here, yay!

What looks like half an apple?

The other half

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

What do people and pizza have in common?

If they're black, they can't feed a family.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ?

An animal that puts you out a night !