Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife?

10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank"

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why couldn't a kid watch a pirate movie?

Because it was rated R.

Where did the kid with adhd go?

Aushwitz

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why were people angry wen the chiken crossed the rd?

Cus he looked one way, then another way after.

Why didn't Stalin look both ways before he crossed the road?

He was rushin'

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What did the Challenger Austronaut day to his wife before he left?

You feed the kids, I'll feed the fishes."

What's the difference between an Arts student and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of 4

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What do you call a model flying an airplane full of animals?

Zoolander

Which animal makes the best pie?

A human.