Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?

He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What kind of trees watch kids in Mexico?

Baby cedar

What has six eyes but cannot see?

Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the word for interested in something, but not enough to look it up on Wikipedia?

That.

Don't look at the eclipse through a colander.

You'll strain your eyes.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What's the difference between an Arts student and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of 4

What did the farmer say after he fed his cows pot?

the Steaks are high."

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What animals were last to leave the ark ?

The elephants as they had to pack their trunks !

What type of animal browses Reddit?

Karma-vore