Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

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What do you call a guy who wants to join the mile high club by himself?

A high-jacker.

What happens when a pirate turns 60?

He joins AARP

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Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

How do you make Aquaman cool?

Put him in water!

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Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common?

They're both under DC.

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Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.