Why did Jesus get all the ladies?

Because he was hung like this (extends arms to sides)

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who likes to go swimming?

Bob.

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why is the Mississippi so wide?

Because Mr. Sippi is hung like a horse.

What's green and hangs from trees?

Elephant snot. Funniest part is seeing people's reaction when you tell it.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry?

Jesus in a submarine.

What did Jesus say to Melchior?

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

Why did italy cross the road?

To switch sides

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Why did the lady at the bar slap the man next to her for stroking his mustache?

Because in between stroking it, he said "hello, let me clear you off a place to sit."

How is a lady like a casino?

Liquor in the front and poker in the back