Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space ?

He wanted to find Pluto !

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Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?

Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box !

Where are you going to keep them ?

Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath Stan: Blindfold them !

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What do you call a dictatorship founded on the principles of Ethos, Logos & Pathos?

An Aristotalitarian Regime.

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

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What currency do they use in space?

Star Bucks.

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

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What kind of mouse walks on two legs?

A: Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs A: They all do!

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?

She was having Disney spells.

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Why do midgets not wear tampons?

They might trip on the string.

Why was the lesbian nervous about her first trip to China?

All the dongs.

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What does Pluto have up on Palestine?

At least Pluto exists

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?

The orbituaries.