Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed?

So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

Spread Jokes More Spread Jokes

What do you get when the Pillsbury dough boys bend over?

Dough-nuts (South Park reference again just spreading it).

What do you call mints you can spread through social media?

Memementos

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?

How slime flies!

Pillow Jokes More Pillow Jokes

Why was my other pillow jealous?

Because I like to sleep around.

What am I a pillow now?

Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding.