Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

he was undercover *!*

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What are cooking for us today?

Dingo: I'm making my famous baby coleslaw

What should I tell him?

Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you call and Irish person who stays outside all night?

Paddy O'Furniture

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

Policeman Jokes More Policeman Jokes

Why are you crying after giving me that ticket?

Policeman: It was a moving violation.

What do you call a policeman with a thing for MLP?

A clop cop.