Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

he was undercover *!*

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's long and hard?

The sock under my bed.

How do you get an anorexic chick in bed?

Well, it ain't a piece of cake.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What's the difference between organized crime and the government?

Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do?

Stays up all night pondering the existence of a dog

Policeman Jokes More Policeman Jokes

What did the duck say to the policeman?

Quack

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

Oh give it arrest.