Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

he was undercover *!*

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed?

Me neither. Help.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would Jimi Hendrix be doing today if he was still alive?

Trying to get out of his grave.

What's the difference between the jokes from today and next week's jokes?

The posters.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How did Jesus stay in such good shape?

Cross fit.

What do you get when if you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic and an agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Policeman Jokes More Policeman Jokes

Why was the policeman in bed?

Because he was an undercover cop

Why do firemen have bigger balls than policemen?

Because they sell more tickets!