Why did the woman leave her overweight husband unconscious in a burning building?

Because she couldn't stand him.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

Why did the SSD burn a flag?

Because it was a Patriot Blaze

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana?

She left him out in the sun too long.

What's the difference between Americans and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How do you give a time-out to a Mexican child?

Have him stand against a wall.

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What are the three fastest forms of communication?

Telephone, telegraph, tell a woman.

How do we know God is not a woman?

Because the Earth is not a sandwich!

Burn Building Jokes More Burn Building Jokes

Why did the woman leave her overweight husband unconscious in a burning building?

Because she couldn't stand him.

How can I ever repay you?

Favstar in the bio "Oh I don't have Twi-" *returns baby to burning building*