Why do you hate me?

me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How did you sleep?

With closed eyes.

What did the Asian guy say when he was caught sleeping with another man's wife?

Me love you wrong time.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the time traveler say at the birthday party?

I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries

What stories are told by basketball players ?

Tall stories !

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How do you get to a position of power in a science lab?

Work over time

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What are the two words men hate most unless used together?

Don't Stop

Why do the horses hate the jockey?

Because he's a horse racist.