Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

Because they spend years at sea.

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Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

What does your mother do for a living?

She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur."

What did the sea say to the sand?

Nothing, it simply waved.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What do you call a pirate from Ireland??

Arrrish

How did pirates communicate before the internet?

Pier to Pier Networking

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

Why isn't Bernie Sanders campaigning in OKC?

They're both eliminated and finished second in their conference.

Why should you always finish telling your jokes to David Carradine?

He doesn't like to be left hanging.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What's the difference between the 9/11 attack and a dairy cow?

You stop milking the cow after ten years.

Where do you see yourself in four years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?

A: Studying their Miranda Rights.

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

Alphabet Jokes More Alphabet Jokes

What is every blonde's ambition in life?

To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?

V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.