Why would you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can make dinner and get head at the same time.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

When is the only time you're not American?

When European.

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

Why don't witches have babies?

Because their men have hollow-weenies!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon?

He wanted to see stars during the day.

Why couldn't JFK be a boxer?

He couldn't take shots to the head.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

What's the difference between a take-out dinner and a make-out session?

How can you take something out you've never put in

Blender Foot Jokes More Blender Foot Jokes

Why would you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can make dinner and get head at the same time.

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet-first?

So you can see the look on its face. How do you get said baby out of the blender? Tortilla chips.