Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon?

He wanted to see stars during the day.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the burgler take a bath?

He wanted to have a 'clean getaway'.

What did the depressed pimp want for his birthday?

to be alone with his thots

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

new gloves for the cold days

Why are bats blind?

Well your eyesight wouldn't be too good if you hung upside down all day would it

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What do you call two hobos hitting each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight

Why did Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a truck!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why do you forget a tooth as soon as the dentist pulls it out?

Because it goes right out of your head.

What's the best part of an ISIS joke?

The Execution. Hehe...get it? No? Fine I'll be-heading off now.

Star Jokes More Star Jokes

What's the number for poison control?

Dancing With the Stars is on and I need to make sure this will be enough.

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

Afternoon Jokes More Afternoon Jokes

Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon?

He wanted to see stars during the day.

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

Astronomer Jokes More Astronomer Jokes

What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe?

Exoplanets Thought that one up myself.

What is an astronomer?

A night watchman with a college education.