Crude Oil Jokes

Why do fish have such bad manners?

It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.

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What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common?

They're all going to be 65 this year.

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Ingest Jokes More Ingest Jokes

Why do fish have such bad manners?

It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.

What happened to the guy who ingested helium?

He became enlightened.

Hydrocarbon Jokes More Hydrocarbon Jokes

Why don't hydrocarbons make good criminals?

They're always getting com-busted.

What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do you call a fish with no eye's?

a fsh

What do you call a fish without any eyes?

Boneless chicken

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

What did Vladimir Putin say to the Ukraine after he annexed it?

Crimean river.

Why is Vladimir Putin always Russian?

Because he's never Finnish.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell Michael Jackson's age?

You put a color scale next to his face.

How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?

Look for gray hares.