Crude Oil Jokes

Why do fish have such bad manners?

It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.

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What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common?

They're all going to be 65 this year.

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Hydrocarbon Jokes More Hydrocarbon Jokes

Why don't hydrocarbons make good criminals?

They're always getting com-busted.

What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What is Vladimir Putin's favourite drink?

White Russian, Straight

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why do you always invite at least two mormons to go out fishing with you?

If you invite only one, you'll have to share your beer.

Why can't a fish be a radio host?

Because if he goes on air, he'll die.

Ingest Jokes More Ingest Jokes

Why do fish have such bad manners?

It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.

What happened to the guy who ingested helium?

He became enlightened.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you confuse Hellen Keller?

Give her a basketball and tell her to read it.

What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.