Crude Oil Jokes

Why do fish have such bad manners?

It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.

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What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common?

They're all going to be 65 this year.

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Ingest Jokes More Ingest Jokes

Why do fish have such bad manners?

It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.

What happened to the guy who ingested helium?

He became enlightened.

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

What did Vladimir Putin say to the Ukraine after he annexed it?

Crimean river.

What do you call Vladimir Putin after an ultimate fighting championship?

Vloody Putin

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a fencer is a redditor?

By how often he ripostes.

How can you tell if a person's a vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why are Teen aged boys so good at fishing?

Because they're Master Baiters.

How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish. I got this from bash.org a long time ago, but I can't find the original post, so have this

Hydrocarbon Jokes More Hydrocarbon Jokes

What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

Why don't hydrocarbons make good criminals?

They're always getting com-busted.