Lighthouse Jokes

What did the ocean say to the lighthouse?

Nothing, it waved.

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How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....

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Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What did William Shakespeare say regarding atomic orbitals?

2p or not 2p, that is the question."

How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?

You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's this for?

He asked. "A pay rise." I replied. "My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."

How do you tell the difference between a factory worker, and a chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 1.99904274017 but that's close enough for non-technical people.

How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

People Jokes More People Jokes

What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit?

When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"

Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road?

Do they really think someone will take it Do you think I should wash it first

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who says it's dark

How many violent revolutions does it take to change a lightbulb?

Violent revolutions never change anything.