Retirement Home Jokes

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

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Why do the nurses give the old men in retirement homes Viagra?

To keep them from rolling out of bed

This joke may have profanity.

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Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a group of midget engineers and a women's track team?

One is a group of cunning runts...

What is the difference between camping and being homeless?

Marshmallows

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What is 1 + 1"?

The mathematician says "2" The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1" The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".

What do you need 4 dollars for?

3's enough. Here's 2." and gives him 1.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Whats yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.

Where does a two dimensional man live?

A flat.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why are foodfights forbidden in japanese schools?

The children always end up with lice in their hair.

Why are art contests so disappointing?

They always end in a draw

Alligator Jokes More Alligator Jokes

What is worse than an alligator with toothache ?

A centipede with athlete's foot !

What do you call am alligator in a vest?

An illogical situation imagined by a child.

Plastic Jokes More Plastic Jokes

What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic?

Llamanated

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if a pepper is being nosy?

When he's jalapeno business!

What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ?

I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !