How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What starts with "W" and ends with "ife"?

Nevermind, this riddle is too easy.

How did Feminism start?

With an unlocked kitchen door

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What drug does the lord use to get work done?

God speed.

Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work?

His loving knife.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What does a Russian woman say to stop her husband from abusing her?

Vladislov, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more... I'm sorry..

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

When one points and asks his friend, "Is that statue a foot?

To which his friend replies, "No, it's about four and a half feet."

What is the quickest way to double your money ?

Fold it in half !

Emit Jokes More Emit Jokes

What emits a monochromatic beam of salty snack food?

Frito Layser.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Lawn Mower Jokes More Lawn Mower Jokes

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?

Because they're the largest re-tail-er

Half Time Jokes More Half Time Jokes

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.