How best to save the iPhone from FBI?

Crack it before they hack it.

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Who get saved?

The United States of America

What did the barfly say to the other barfly?

I saved you a stool.

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What do alcoholics and necropheliacs have in common?

They both love to crack open a cold one.

What did the daddy salt say to his son?

Stop cracking your NaCles."

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How is the iPhone 6 like /r/gonewild?

They both give you tightness in the pants. I'll see myself out...

What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

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Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince" I'll see myself out now

Why couldn't the FBI find Sepp Blatter's bribe money?

He used it all to bribe Canada to host the Women's World Cup.

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Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked?

Because Jesus WEPt.