How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac?

He's always HARD at work.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What happened to your car?

SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do women make bad engineers?

Their whole lives they have been told 5 inches is 8

What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?

I want hue.

Necrophiliac Jokes More Necrophiliac Jokes

What did the necrophiliac have when his grandmother died?

Mourning wood

What is similar about a necrophiliac and an alcoholic?

They both like to crack open a cold one

Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac?

He's always HARD at work.

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.