How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

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Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

What is the official bird of love?

The Swallow.

How's your meal?

i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

Why can't Abraham Lincoln remember the Gettysburg Address?

Because he's dead.

How does a black mother tell her children apart?

She remembers them by their last names.

Pump Jokes More Pump Jokes

Who would win in a fight?

A bicycle wheel or an old book Well, it's hard to say. One's pumped and the other's ripped.

Why do rednecks love fall?

Because it's the only time of year they can pump kin.

Stomach Jokes More Stomach Jokes

What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache?

I falafel.

What does an egg say when it gets punched in the stomach?

Oeuf!

Speaker Jokes More Speaker Jokes

What do you call it when the Speaker of the House is angry?

A raging Boehner.

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.