What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

What happened to the guy who replaced his laxatives with Prozac?

He didn't give a sh...

House Jokes More House Jokes

What's the difference between a tea bag and a used tampon?

What's the Difference between a tea bag and a used tampon - I dunno... - I'm never drinking tea at your house again then!

When is paint free?

When it's on the house.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do MLK, Elvis, and the Houston Oilers have in common?

They all died in Tennessee

Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

When does a dyslexic person know they've bought the wrong SUV?

When they're in Denali.

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

President Jokes More President Jokes

What do you call a president crossing the road?

A presidestrian

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

Vice President Jokes More Vice President Jokes

Why isn't the Vice President running for President this year?

Cuz he's Biden his time.

Why is the vice president always so self-obsessed?

Because he lives at the navel observatory

Speaker Jokes More Speaker Jokes

What do you call it when the Speaker of the House is angry?

A raging Boehner.

What is the motto of the French navy?

To the water, it is time! Or in french... ... BWA HA HA HA. OK... I know this is kind a dad joke but.... yeah (for those don't speak French and thus don't get this, click the link and click the speaker to have it read to you ;) )

Radio Shack Jokes More Radio Shack Jokes

Where's the best place to hide during a zombie apocalypse?

Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there.

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.