Stomach Jokes

What did the policeman say to his stomach?

Your under a vest

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What did the police officer say to his stomach?

I've got you under a vest.

Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa?

Because it can't be taken on empty stomach

What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache?

I falafel.

Why do cows never walk out of horror movies?

They're able to stomach a lot.

What did the food say to the other food, while inside a stomach?

I won't digest yet.

Why was the lions stomach enormous?

Because he finally swallowed his pride

What does an egg say when it gets punched in the stomach?

Oeuf!

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

Why can't ethiopians take med pills?

Cause they can't take 'em with empty stomach.

How do you get out of the stomach of an elephant?

Run around until you get pooped out

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What do you call a bison that's sick to his stomach?

A barffalo

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What does Jim Jones and Saitama have in common?

They both take out everyone with just one punch.

What's the difference between a computer and a woman?

A computer only has to have information punched into it once.

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Why is Dubya voting Republican this year?

So he'll only be the second worst president ever.

What did the white high school dropout get for his birthday?

A legacy scholarship for his second choice school

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Why do medicine boxes always have a little bit of cotton in them?

To remeber the black man of what he did before he dealt drugs.

How does a Korean walk a dog?

With a little bit of oil.

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Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

What did one cracker say to the other?

Let's conquer the Americas, Africa, Australia, and Asia."

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How does a police officer go to the bathroom?

Ctrl+C

What did the french fry say to the police officer?

Help me! I've been a-salted!

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Why don't cannibals have dogs?

Because you're not supposed to feed them people food.

What does Pikachu say when he puts too much salsa on his food?

PIKA PIKA PIKA (Credit to my 5 year old son)

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What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?

Ability to work under pressure.

Why aren't you working?

Me: I didn't see you coming!

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What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?

Fill me in when you get back

What do Princess Di's coffin and a Queen Bee have in common?

They're both filled with Royal Jelly.