Horror Movie Jokes

Why are white people so bad at horror movies?

Because they're curious and want to learn. And that's why you don't see many black scientists.

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Why do cows never walk out of horror movies?

They're able to stomach a lot.

What is the horror movie Quija rated?

Quija-13

What do horror movies and printer ink have in common?

The black one always dies first.

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Stomach Jokes More Stomach Jokes

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

Why can't ethiopians take med pills?

Cause they can't take 'em with empty stomach.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does a bird say when it wants revenge?

Toucan play at that game!

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ?

Whatever you want, he can't hear you..

Project Jokes More Project Jokes

What did the counselor say to the hologram?

You're projecting." (From Star Trek Voyager)

What is the craziest/weirdest/most interesting/most unique/ uncommon phrase you've ever heard ?

I am working on a project, and its going to revolve around a phrase. I need it to be really out there, yet could be used in everyday life. But honestly just give me anything you got.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon. :P

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why is there a fence around the graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why did the Chihuahua laugh?

The cow jumped over the moon.

What does /r/funny and /r/jokes have in common?

I laugh at neither of them.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you call a rabbit with lots of fleas?

Bugs Bunny.

When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight ?

When they had lots of sleepless knights !

Blair Jokes More Blair Jokes

Who's there ! Blair ! Blair who ?

Blair play !

What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie?

The Blair...Which project Made my roomie laugh at least