How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How does procrastination start?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

What do men and mascara have in common?

They both run at the first sign of emotion.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because someone threw a fridge at her....

What do you get when you throw a grenade into a french kitchen?

Linoleum Blownapart

Sneak Jokes More Sneak Jokes

How do you frighten a Bee?

Sneak up behind it and yell BOO BEE!

How long have we been married dear?

Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.

Scare Jokes More Scare Jokes

How to scare parents?

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

Why is it bad for blind people to skydive?

It scares the hell out of the dog

Rice Jokes More Rice Jokes

What do you call rice on 2 legs?

Pi Ok, I'm leaving now.

What do you call an Australian who discriminates against different types of rice?

Rice-ist!