What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume?

He was convicted of fragrancy.

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common?

Cold turkey

How was your day ?

And he goes: " rrrrRough "

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why did the carpenter join the army?

Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant

What do you get when Italians join ISIS?

Baked Yazidi

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

Why we going into the woods?

Let me out"

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

Why shouldn't ISIS be destroying ancient Mesopotamian buildings?

Because it's frowned upon in Islam to smoke ziggurats.

What do Lena Dunham & ISIS have in common ?

They both love stoning women.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What do you call a runner who hates every event but his own?

A raceist

Why do Mexicans hate cooking pasta?

When they boil the water, they always have to add that *pinche* salt.

Sneak Jokes More Sneak Jokes

How long have we been married dear?

Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.

Why do elephants wear green shoes?

So they can sneak across pool tables. Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table? Works, doesn't it?

Teenager Jokes More Teenager Jokes

What do the teenagers call the Asian red light district?

Vachina Town

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.