Rice Jokes

What do you call an Australian who discriminates against different types of rice?

Rice-ist!

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What is Spiderman's favourite brand of rice?

Uncle Ben's

What happened in China on Christmas?

The Rice-child was born.

What is the healthiest college?

Rice

How do Japanese people ask for rice?

Samurais?

What did the little Chinese boy get for Christmas?

Rice.

Who lives in a hut with a couple pieces of trash and two grains of rice?

An Ethiopian person who has been hoarding for several years now.

What kind of car does a Japanese chef drive?

Rolls Rice

What kind of rice puts you to sleep?

Ray Rice

What's the worst part of an NFL wedding?

Getting hit by Rice

Why don't people get married in North Korea?

Well, all marriages are legal in North Korea, but no one has them because there's no rice to throw.

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Why doesn't Spiderman like rice?

It reminds him of Uncle Ben.

What do you call an Asian guy who is a member of ISIS?

RICE-IS

Why did the Chicken cross road?

With rice.

What's an Islamist's favourite crop?

Rice is.

How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

What do you call rice on 2 legs?

Pi Ok, I'm leaving now.

What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?

10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

How do you know if a Korean gang robbed your house?

Because all the rice is gone, and three hours later, they are still trying to back out of your driveway.

What would be the worst meal for a football wife?

OJ and Rice

What is both a short shopping list, and a potential Chinese luxury automobile?

Rolls * Rice

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.

What did the getaway driver do after his accomplice, Rice, robbed the bank?

Pilaf.

Why can't Chinese Barbecue?

A: Because the rice falls through the grill

What do you call an Asian Terrorist group?

Rice-is

What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out

What does Supertramp do after buying rice?

They take the long-grain home.

What's the emergency?

How long before the rice is ready "

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Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer?

Because they heard he's a web developer

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What happens when a linguist gets sick?

Plosive diarrhea

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

Udder chaos!

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What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up at night, wondering if there's a dog.

Why do you call a person with 3 legs?

Mutated

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

What kind of cake does a baseball player prefer?

A bundt cake!

What's the difference between Jared from Subway's gut and his junk?

He prefers his gut when it's down 45 pounds, and his junk when it's up 45 pounds.

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What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

Because he ate his ant for dinner!

Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner?

Because he was Baroque.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do deaf people meet online?

Simple, they just ask "ASL?"

What does a bro say when asked if he needs help doing a magic trick?

Nah brah, tadah brah!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Delia Smith say when she wants to fight a road?

Let's be avenue.'

Why do you want to work in a bank Alan?

Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it sir.