How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How could a leper afford a nice house?

It cost an arm and a leg

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?

You wave hello!

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What holds the moon up?

A: Moonbeams.

What three words will emasculate any man?

A: Hold my purse.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

What made the orange stop suddenly?

It just ran out of juice.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What do you call an Ape that's afraid of heights?

A chimp-pansy. This is my go to primatology joke.

What do you call an ape that's both extremely frugal and fearful?

A cheap pansy

Thunder Jokes More Thunder Jokes

What did the thunder say when it understood the joke?

I feel so enlightninged!

Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?

The scientists were brainstorming.