How could a leper afford a nice house?

It cost an arm and a leg

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russel

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a guard with a hundred legs?

A sentrypede.

What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs?

Pai-Ling

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

What's the difference between beer nut and deer nuts?

Beer nuts will cost you about $1.25. Deer nuts are under a buck.

What take out food should you avoid at all costs in Hospital?

Donor Kebab

Leper Jokes More Leper Jokes

What's the difference between a leper and a tree?

A tree has limbs.

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

Afford Jokes More Afford Jokes

Why do birds live in nests?

Because they can't afford houses in this economy.

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.