Doctors without boarders.
A eunucorn.
A milk tank!
Arrrr-thritis
Yarrrrrsync!
A pack o'derms
Que Que Que
Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.
Celebrity adoption.
It needed to be checked out it had a bloated appendix.
It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.
They were his best fronds.
They use boo-eys.