Horn Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why do cows have bells?

Because there horns don't work

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel?

She was trying to blow the horn

What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?

Doctors without boarders.

What do you call a reuben sandwich with a horn?

A rye-nocerous

What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things?

A mountain gloat.

Who's there ! Cymbals ! Cymbals who?

Cymbals have horns and others don't !

What has one horn and gives milk?

A A milk truck.

What do you call a guy with no nuts and a horn on his head?

A eunucorn.

Why are barns so noisy?

All the cows have horns

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What did the farmer say when all his cows charged him at once ?

I'm on the horns of a dilemma here !

What do you call a fear of horned bovines?

Aurochnophobia.

Why does a cow need a bell?

Because its horn doesn't work.

What gives milk and has a horn?

A milk tank!

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Neck Jokes More Neck Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

Where does a guru get his sandwiches?

New Delhi

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

Lipstick Jokes More Lipstick Jokes

Why does Mary Kay walk funny?

Her lipstick

What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

Nyc Jokes More Nyc Jokes

How many square feet are in the average NYC apartment?

Zero. Feet are feet shaped.

What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours?

Tire-less

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

What can a lawyer do that a duck can't?

Stick his bill up his arse.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why don't you?

Because I can't think of a single thing to say!

What did you do at school today?

Mark: We played a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam Mark: That's right.

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What kind of computer can also sing?

A Dell.

What chews on trees and sings?

Justin Beaver

Loafer Jokes More Loafer Jokes

What does a baker wear on his feet?

Loafers.

What kind of shoes does bread wear?

Loafers.