Sandwich Jokes

Where do weightlifters get their sandwiches?

Subwhey.

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How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut ?

Diagon alley

How many cannibals does it take to make a sandwich?

Two.

Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?

Because they never have any sandwiches.

Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?

Because they can get their whole grains.

How do you tell a transgender from a real woman?

The quality of the sandwich.

What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now

When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches?

Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets

What's the difference between a sandwich and a baby?

Doesn't matter, they both taste the same.

Why do SJWs hate cannibals?

They're always man-spreading on their sandwiches.

Why didn't the feminist picnic work out?

because they all refused to make sandwiches.

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Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?

because nobody made sandwiches

Where does a guru get his sandwiches?

New Delhi

What does a memelord put on his sandwich?

L-mayo

What does a Super Saiyan always put on his sandwich?

Ka-Mayomayo

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What did Dave Grohl say when he accidentally dropped his sandwich?

There goes my hero"

What do you get when you feed an Eevee a sandwich?

A Luncheon!

Whats the problem with feminist picnics ?

None of them make the sandwiches.

Why are sandwiches better in space?

They are always a bit METEOR!

What's the difference between a sandwich and a germanwings plane?

When the sandwich drops I'm sad.

How do you start a rave party in Africa without a soundsystem?

Glue a sandwich on the ceiling.

What was Nero's favorite kind of sandwich?

A Plebeian J

When/why do feminists hate cannibals?

When they make sandwiches, because they're man-spreading.

Where did the Muslim go for his sandwich?

Aaaaaaaaallah Snackbar.

What does a astronaut put in a sandwich?

Space Jam

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?

They always turn out to be sub par.

How do you send a sandwich to someone on a computer?

in bytes

How do you email a sandwich?

In bytes.

How do we know God is not a woman?

Because the Earth is not a sandwich!

What do WNBA players make?

Sandwiches. Friend told me this today and had to share

What do you call the electronic process of making a sandwich?

A sub routine.

Where does a sandwich go when it gets good grades?

Honor roll.

What do you call an Inbred cow?

A sandwich!

What does the highest paid WNBA player make?

Sandwiches.

Why don't women need to go to college?

Because it doesn't take four years to learn how to make a sandwich.

How do we know God's not a woman?

We're not sandwiches.

What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?

What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth

What do you call a reuben sandwich with a horn?

A rye-nocerous

What do you call food between two slices of bread?

a sandwich

Why would you never starve in the desert?

Because of all the sandwiches there.

Why can't you starve in the desert?

Because of all the sandwiches there.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

Why can't Jim's make sandwiches?

Cause it was at my grannies, isn't it!!!

How do we know that God isn't a woman?

Because we're not all sandwiches

What do you call a Sandwich with legs?

Bready Legs

How many men do a feminist need to make her sandwich?

two. One from front and another from behind.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sandwich.

Why did the feminist get fired from Panera?

Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich.

What do you call a woman that won't make a sandwich?

An ambulance.

What does Fabrizio like to put on his sandwiches?

Mustardo!

What do you call the people who make sandwiches at Subway?

Sub humans.

What do you call a woman who can't make sandwiches?

Single.

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

Why are women terrible drivers?

Because making sandwiches behind the wheel is a lot harder than making them in the kitchen.

Why is Flint MI famous for it's sandwiches?

They have the highest Pb : jelly ratio in the midwest!

Why were the sandwich fillers eyes too close together?

Because he was in-bread.

How can you tell when there's an elephant in your sandwich?

When it's too heavy to lift.

Why do sandwiches never have kids?

Because they always turn out in-bread.

What do the members of Blackstreet like on their sandwiches?

Mayo mayo mayo mayooooooooooooooooo

What kind of sandwich is this?

She asks. "It cheese ma."

How do you know that God isn't a woman?

Because I'm not a sandwich.

Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich

What's J.D. Salingers favorite thing to have in a sandwich?

RYEbread....

How does Bob Marley like his sandwiches?

Wi' jam in

What did one redneck say to the other?

If you were anymore inbred, you'd be a sandwich.

What is a sandwich on a ship?

A sub-marine

What do vampires make sandwiches out of?

Self-raising dead.

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Diagon Alley Jokes More Diagon Alley Jokes

How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut ?

Diagon alley

How did Harry get it in Ron's sweet Diagon Alley?

A lubricantation.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?

His desk is level

Why does noone listen ever to the guy who talks with his mouth full?

He is so misunderstood.

Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

When do cannibals cook you?

On Fried-days.

What does a cannibal bring to a barbecue?

OC) Brats!

Restaurant Jokes More Restaurant Jokes

What did the newly paroled French prisoner name his restaurant?

Attempted Crepe

How do you identify the head waitress at a restaurant?

She's the one wearing knee pads.

Ham Sandwich Jokes More Ham Sandwich Jokes

What's the difference between a turkey sandwich and a ham sandwich?

A turkey sandwich doesn't recognize the Armenian genocide

What's the difference between a pig and a ham sandwich?

You can get a prosecutor to indict the ham sandwich.

Worker Jokes More Worker Jokes

Why do women like Ryan Gosling?

Because he is always Gosling around..... A co-worker snickered so I figued share.

Why did the worker at the M&M factory get fired?

he threw out the W's

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot?

Mitosis

Indict Jokes More Indict Jokes

What's the difference between a pig and a ham sandwich?

You can get a prosecutor to indict the ham sandwich.

What if George Lucas was the new Supreme Court justice?

Lucas gets indicted after video surfaces of him tampering with previous decisions he made.