What do you call an erection during a funeral?

Mourning wood!

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How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

What did the priest get at Toys R Us?

An erection.

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How do you know it was not U.S. that did the aerial bombing?

Because the funeral, wedding and hospital were not the targets.

Who sang at the funeral of those who died in a railroads arson?

Adele. Some one set fire to the train

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How do you spot a necrophiliac at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

What do you call a tree that lost its family in a forrest fire?

Mourning wood

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How do you know if you are a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood

When should funerals occur?

Mourning