Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast
WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels
Goad-diggers.
Let's just be cousins.
Let it Gogh!
Because all they can do is bone.
Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.
Bacon and AIDS (I'm so sorry Freddy)
an lette
Bacon! Get it?
Kermit's fingers