Breakfast Jokes

What does a thesaurus have for breakfast?

Synonym rolls.

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What does Tim Cook have for breakfast in the morning?

Not Apple Jacks

What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?

I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

What do you call a large vehicle that travels the world serving breakfast?

Universal cereal bus

Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast?

Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun.

What does as electronic engineer make for breakfast?

Ohmlettes

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

What is white and disturbs your breakfast?

An avalanche

Where do Irish people go for breakfast?

Drunkin Donuts

What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

Breakfast and lunch. I'll show myself out now

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What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

What does an alcoholic neckbeard drink for breakfast?

M'mosa

What did the yogi have for breakfast?

an lette

What does Salvador Dali have for breakfast?

Surreal.

What does a cannibal drink for breakfast?

A cup of Joe.

What do Buddhist monks have for breakfast?

Ommm' lettes!

What do you call a rapper who likes honey for breakfast?

Sugar Puff Daddy

What does a duck like to have for breakfast?

Quacker Oats

Why do French people only ever have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is

What did the abortionist have for breakfast?

Scrambled eggs =p

What did King Arthur have for breakfast?

Eggcalibur.

What did you have for breakfast?

Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night A: Pee soup...

When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

What do you call breakfast?

Breaking fast yooo!

What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?

In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.

What came first: the chicken or the egg?

The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner.

What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?

Vitamin bills!

What does a pirate drink for breakfast?

Arrrrange juice.

What did the Cryptologist have for breakfast?

Hash with alot of Salt

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?

He foamed at the mouth.

What does a mexican magician make for breakfast?

Toast-tah-dahs!

What did the brain dead guy have for breakfast?

Comatoast!

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window?

He was a cereal defenestrator.

What did Freddy Mercury have for breakfast?

Bacon and AIDS (I'm so sorry Freddy)

What did Hannibal Lector have for breakfast?

Kevin Bacon. ... And Jon Hamm. I'll show myself out.

What'd you have for breakfast?

Me: A bowl of Oreos. CW: Lol you mean Cherrios Me: No.

Why do French people only have one egg at breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Where do tired linedancers go for Breakfast?

A. Ihop

What does Laquisha have for breakfast?

Plan B

How is your diet going?

Horrible. I had eggs for breakfast." "Scrambled " "Cadbury."

How do you know that a dinosaur ate Kel for breakfast?

Because there was a kellogg in the toilet

What is an Italian's favorite type of breakfast?

Serie-a*l

Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast?

The game warden found out he poached his eggs!

What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

A Brexit

What do you want for breakfast?

Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast

What does a Oompa Loompa Rabbi have for breakfast?

Orange Juice

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

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Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What do you call it when you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software?

Getting McCafe on McAfee

Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs?

In a tone like you have no idea) "No bunny nose" -Made up this morning in bed to a very dissatisfied girlfriend

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

What did Helen Keller's friend say to her?

offensive) You should try blind dating.

What did Helen Keller say when she put down the cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why can't you be the king I know?

The king you have inside you SIMBA: That doesn't make sense. I think I'd remember if I ate a king.

What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed?

I think we're in sink."

English Jokes More English Jokes

What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

A: "Nobody's perfect!"

How far pregnant was the bride?

American: You English are insane Shotguns can't get pregnant

Scone Jokes More Scone Jokes

What's the fastest form of bread?

Scone.

What is the fastest cake in the world?

Scone.

Thesaurus Jokes More Thesaurus Jokes

What dinosaur knows the most words?

Thesaurus. :/

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

A Thesaurus.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball?

You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza.

When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps?

Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown

Tim Cook Jokes More Tim Cook Jokes

What cereal was removed from Tim Cook's breakfast?

Apple Jacks

Why did Tim Cook fire an unpaid intern lately?

His name was Jack