When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him?

A: To see how long he slept.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What does A&ampW stand for?

Amburgers &amp Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

What does Apu say when people leave him to browse reddit?

Thank you, Karma gain

House Jokes More House Jokes

How does Bill Gates enter his house?

A. He uses "windows".

How do you know if hippies have been in your house?

They are still there.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why should you always bring an iPhone to Mos Eisley Cantina?

Because droids can't get service.

Why should you bring two Mormons with you when you go fishing?

Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

Why is the next Windows version 10 and not 9?

Because 7 ate(8) 9!

How many /r/twoxchromosomes posters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other 9 to provide emotional support.

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

What does a mexican magician make for breakfast?

Toast-tah-dahs!

What does a Oompa Loompa Rabbi have for breakfast?

Orange Juice