When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl?

What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.

What did Mick Jagger say when he walked in on Hugh Hefner in bed with Dennis Weaver?

He said "Hey Hey Hugh Hugh Get Off Of McCould"

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why do Russians always wear track suits?

Because they are always RUSSIAN to places. thanks

What do you call a teenage cheese cracker?

Chee-zits I made this up. Thank you, thank you...thank you so much.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

What do you call a fissure in the earth that houses old Russian rulers who like to mock others ironically?

Tsar-Chasm

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What did the Muslim bring to the Holiday party?

Falafel and hummus.

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?

In case he got a hole in one.

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

13\. Number 9 will shock you!

Why is 6 afraid of 9 on New Years Eve?

Because 9, 8, 7....

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

What did the Cryptologist have for breakfast?

Hash with alot of Salt

What did the abortionist have for breakfast?

Scrambled eggs =p