When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home?

Where on Earth have you been??!!" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!

Who am I to argue?

So I thanked him and went back home.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

What's the difference between a tea bag and a used tampon?

What's the Difference between a tea bag and a used tampon - I dunno... - I'm never drinking tea at your house again then!

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why should you always bring charmander along when camping?

Because he's the fire starter.

Why are Norwegian women so hot?

The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones!

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

Where do lightning bolts go on dates?

To cloud 9

Why is 6 afraid of 9 on New Years Eve?

Because 9, 8, 7....

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

What does a pirate drink for breakfast?

Arrrrange juice.

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.