What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What did the beaver say when his house burned down?

Damn

Why did the hipster's Hot Pocket burn his mouth?

He ate it before it was cool.

Slice Jokes More Slice Jokes

Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets?

For identification.

What's the difference between a sliced up body and a new BMW?

I don't have a new BMW in my garage.

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on?

Spraint your ankle!" Just in case:

How many gears does a French battle tank have?

Five. Four in reverse, and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear.

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Beast wishes.

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

Burn Toast Jokes More Burn Toast Jokes

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

What's worse than 1 slice of burnt toast?

The holocaust.

Pregnant Girlfriend Jokes More Pregnant Girlfriend Jokes

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

What's the difference between a light bulb and my pregnant girlfriend?

I can unscrew a lightbulb.