Slice Jokes

What did the oven tell the slice of bread?

You're !

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

It depends on how thinly you slice them.

What is a mathematician's favorite food?

A slice of Pi.

How many Mexicans does it take to pave a driveway?

Six, if you slice them thin enough.

Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza?

Because he's shellfish!

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

What do u call an ethopian with a slice of cheese on his head?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call a baby seal between two slices of bread?

A clubbed sandwich

What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?

Little Caesers

Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets?

For identification.

What's the difference between a sliced up body and a new BMW?

I don't have a new BMW in my garage.

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How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

Who's there ! Buddha ! Buddha who ?

Buddha this slice of bread for me !

What's the difference between a slice of toast and the French?

You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast.

How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?

A. Three if you slice them very thinly.

What do you call food between two slices of bread?

a sandwich

What do you get when you slice ice cream?

Slice cream! ... I think I'll join the reposting group now...

What's that funny taste?

Definitely not poison. Have another slice!

How many men does it take to wallpaper a feminists house?

Only one, but you have to slice him REALLY thin!

How do you start a rave in Uganda?

Tape a slice of bread to the ceiling

What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess?

It's stale, mate."

Why didn't the cheese get sliced?

It was destined for grater.

What do you call a slice of bread from another country?

An immigraint.

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?

When it's been sliced.

What's the difference between a slice of toast and an Iraqi..?

You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast

Why did the pilot crash the plane?

Because he was a slice of bread

How many black people does it take to shingle a roof?

One....but you gotta slice him reeeeeaaaalllllll thinnnnnnnnnnnnn.....

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Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?

He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

Club Sandwich Jokes More Club Sandwich Jokes

What's a caveman's favorite lunchtime meal?

A club sandwich.

What did the baby seal order for lunch?

The club sandwich.

Burn Toast Jokes More Burn Toast Jokes

What's worse than 1 slice of burnt toast?

The holocaust.

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

What's the difference between a Porsche and a trash bag full of dead babies?

I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What's the difference between a million dollar car and a pile of dead babies?

There's no million dollar car in my garage.

Them Jokes More Them Jokes

Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?

A: Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!

How do you get a stranger to hop onto a bandwagon?

You poke 'em on.

Turd Jokes More Turd Jokes

What do women and turds have in common?

The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets?

For identification.

Bmw Jokes More Bmw Jokes

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

What's the difference between BMWs and porcupines?

Porcupines have pricks on the outside.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a midget chess team and a ladies track team?

One is a group of cunning little runts.... the other is a group of running little C

What's the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaaah ?

About 3 inches