What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a school and an ISIS training camp?

I don't know, i just fly the drone

What's the difference between Jesus and Mexicans?

Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach?

Flop-Flops :)

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

How do deaf people tell each other secrets ?

They wear mittens.

What are you supposed to be?

ME: I'm not wearing a costume

English Jokes More English Jokes

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

Why is the word "smiles" the longest word in English?

Because there is a mile separating the two s'es.

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.

How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What is the best pickup line for Rwandans?

Congratulations! Your parents survived the genocide!"

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.