What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.

What's the difference between a baby and a submarine?

I've never been in a submarine.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why did the guy get fired from the orange juice factory?

He couldn't concentrate

What's a hippie's favorite animal?

An elk It has the E, the L, and the K. Would like to hear some more if you guys have any.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

How do you know a woman is wearing tights?

Her knees swell up when she farts.

Why did the blonde wear green lipstick?

Because red means stop D

English Jokes More English Jokes

Which cat won the race?

A: The English cat. Un deux trois cat sank.

How many times should you check whether a sentence is written in English or Spanish?

Once.

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf?

A: Depends on how many were photographed.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive?

Aarrrrrrr Kelly!