What's the difference between a paycheck and a pen*s?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?

One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other...

What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why were the 2 in love melons upset?

Because they cantaloupe. (The wife thought of this one... hopefully nobody else has posted it)

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone?

Because eventually, its cover would be blown.

Why don't Mexicans blow their noses?

So that they have something to pick in the off-season.

Beg Jokes More Beg Jokes

What did the flower say when she was begged not to tell a secret?

Chrysanthemum's the word.

Why are you begging for a quarter?

Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a dollar.

Paycheck Jokes More Paycheck Jokes

How did the steak chef at the courthouse like his paycheck?

In legal tender

Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?

The riverbank.