What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic?

Going in to ask for a coat hanger

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Why do black people get hit by cars more during winter time?

Because they're easier to spot

Why are hurricanes named after women?

Because they arrive wet and wild then leave with your house and car

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Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

What's your opinion on birds?

Well, they're pretty fly if you ask me.

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What does getting pregnant and locking your car keys in your car have in common?

They can both be fixed with a coat hanger.

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

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What's the worst part about season 1 of Lost?

The episode.

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The Holocaust. (pun, hologram deal)

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What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock?

A Nokia

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

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Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

It was leave your keys at the door.

Where's the dog?

flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

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