What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know but I can look it up for you."

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What did the Buddhist say when asked if he'd like to move from Tibet to North Korea?

Nah. I'ma stay.

Why does Yoda like having a lot of things to do?

It makes his Dagobah faster.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

What does Uncle Vernon not do today?

Post.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why is it "canceled" in America, but "cancelled" in England?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

What's being in love feel like?

You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway Almost as good as that.

Barber Jokes More Barber Jokes

What do Romulans and Vulcans do with their high school drop outs?

Send them to barber school.

How does a barber avoid getting hair in his food?

By giving her a Brazilian wax first!

Carol Jokes More Carol Jokes

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!