30+ Funny Barber Jokes - Curious United

What do Russians call their barbers?

Combrade

What hairstyle does Christopher Nolan get at the barber?

A director's cut

Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?

They call their tailor Herr Dresser

How did the barber win the race?

He knew a short cut.

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

How does a barber avoid getting hair in his food?

By giving her a Brazilian wax first!

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Why is my hairline receding?

Barber: It's not. Your scalp is advancing.

Why hasn't the Rastafarian gone to see the barber?

He's dreading it.

How much for a haircut?

Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.

What did the barber say to the Potato?

You've got eyes on the back of your head!"

What do Romulans and Vulcans do with their high school drop outs?

Send them to barber school.

How does a barber make phone calls?

He cuts them short.

When the barber is done cutting his hair, the cowboy goes back outside. And guess what?

Pony gone.

What does a barber yell when he plays hide-and-go-seek?

Ready or not, hair I comb!

What did the koala bear say to the barber?

You ca-lip this

What do you call someone who has to shave 30 times a day?

A barber

Why was everybody too afraid to go to the barber?

He committed barbercide.

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

Why was there dancing at the barbers'?

And: 'Coz they just got 'beered' O.o

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?

A: A barber.

Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg?

Because he always uses a razor.

What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog?

I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir.

Who's there ! Barber ! Barber who ?

Barberd wire !

Why doesn't my hairline look good?

Barber: It's on the same old head.

Who can shave 30 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

Why do barbers make good drivers?

Because they know all the short cuts.

Why did a gun go to the barber?

Because it's bangs were getting long!

What did the hair stylist do when the Beach Boys came on?

The barber ran

Why did the barber win the race?

He took a short cut.